Acedia Gratitude

Helen Keller once said, “Everything has its wonders, even darkness, and silence.” As I sit with that thought, I am considering the wonder of acedia.

Acedia does offer time for contemplation if I choose to take it rather than ruminating about what I could or should be doing. It does become work to make acedia contemplation into something useful. When I bring in mindfulness and gratitude to acedia, I can be awakened to the happiness of an uncomplicated moment.

I am grateful for acedia because it helps me slow down to make decisions. The demon acedia’s voice is contrary. When I have a decision to make, acedia will speak many reasons why I don’t need to take action or complete a task. It does make me aware of my actions. Am I taking the right action for the right reason?

Sometimes though, acedia is too much of a stall. At some point, I will need to ask the demon to leave.

I am grateful for the rest acedia offers me. Time has become my most valued currency — as it is in the world, and it probably always was, we just didn’t realize it. Acedia allows time to stretch out in front of me. Perhaps a nap is wisely taken. Perhaps a trip down an internet rabbit hole helps me to discover a new piece of wisdom that I can store away. Perhaps a bath or a walk is needed. Acedia offers all of these self-care options.

I am grateful for acedia because I am able to pause my overwhelm. When I sit to watch the snippets that the evening news, and my email feed, and my social media stream offers, I am overwhelmed by all that there is to do to repair the world that we have broken: climate crisis, gun violence, inequality, pollution, poverty, and any one of a very long list of problems that vie for my attention. I want to do something. Acedia stops me from feeling that I need to do everything. By sitting, I can feel small and still see the world. I can see that, as Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee prophetized “The world is not a problem to be solved, it is a living being to which we belong. The world is part of our own self, and we are a part of its suffering wholeness. Until we go the root of our image of separateness, there can be no healing. And the deepest part of our separateness from creation lies in our forgetfulness of its sacred nature, which is also our own sacred nature.” I lean against a tree as I sit and eventually the demon acedia sleeps. I can stand and move one step closer to a hopeful future.